Lent and Our Relationships and Children/Youth Ministry

Yesterday at worship we tackled the parable of the prodigal son. It is a story that can hit very close to home for people.

I’m a book lover and happened to find The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen at a book sale. It is full of his reflections on spending a long time with Rembrandt’s painting of the son returning home and being embraced by his father.

I have always loved Nouwen’s writing, but particularly liked this book. He writes that we are all at some point the younger brother, having messed up, gone our own way and turned our backs on others and even God. But we have also all been the older brother, proudly thinking we’re better, feeling sorry for ourselves and expecting more just for doing what was asked. We need to remember this to maintain perspective in our families and our churches with all their complex relationships.

Nouwen suggests that the antidote to a younger son’s fear and shame is to remember that we are all God’s children and loved unconditionally. God will run to embrace every one of us when we choose to return home, no matter what we have done. When we are acting like the older son, we need to remember that all God has is open to us, that we are valuable in God’s eyes, and that we need to embrace God’s spirit of generosity and grace to recognize that everyone else is just as special as we are.

During Lent, we should not only work on reconciling with God but we should take a look at our relationships and the ways that they can pull us away from God with their unresolved issues and brokenness. If we are holding grudges, feeling shame, stewing in our juices, or taking others’ generosity for granted then we are putting distance between ourselves and God. We are not experiencing the freedom Jesus suffered and gave His life for us to have. We are not able to focus on the cross.

Here are some ideas for living this out in your ministry with children and youth:

1. Talk about what the word reconciliation means (props to those who can spell it!) and how it is something we need to do with God and with others, whether family, friends at school or people at church. We need to clear the way to focus on what is most important and to remember that Jesus died so that we could be reconciled to God - forgiven for all that we’ve done wrong. He paid the price for us and we need to honour that gift.

2. Do role plays of how to admit what you’ve done wrong and ask forgiveness from someone. How does it feel to say those words? How does it feel when someone says I’m sorry? How does it feel when someone says I forgive you? Challenge children and youth to think of those who they need to apologize to and to be courageous enough to do it. Talk about how this can be like a new beginning.

3. Act out the prodigal son story (Luke 15:11-32). Ask when your group has ever felt like the younger brother and when they’ve felt like the older brother. Do they think the story is fair? What do they think of the father? How is he like God? Do they believe that God will forgive them no matter what when they humbly ask?

4. Have learners write a list of those they have relationships with, circling those that are most important and underlining those that are in trouble. Talk about how Jesus wants to have a relationship with them as well. How can they be more like Jesus in their friendships and other relationships? How can they make their relationships stronger and take good care of them?

5. Take time to talk about how prayer is the key to sharing with God the good and the bad that is going on in our lives. Don’t assume that participants pray often or even know how. In prayer we can ask God for courage to do what we need to heal relationships and we can say we’re sorry to God and thank Jesus for taking on the weight of what we’ve done wrong so we can be free. Model some types of prayer (more coming in a future blog).

We are getting closer and closer to the cross. Encourage those in your groups to savour this time, taking in the stories of what led up to the miracle of Easter so that they understand just how amazing our God is to make it all happen as it did.

Don’t forget to pray for others who provide leadership that they will be able to take the time to reflect on what this Holy season means for them.