Taking Stock and Heart-Cleaning

A few weeks ago I was gifted with five boxes of books from a dear friend who is no longer in ministry. It was incredibly generous, and there is likely more to come in the New Year.

As I laid them out it was amazing to see what was there. I spent time sorting and determining what would best suit my own library (those in Christian education and other ministries often have an enormous stash of resources - mine is a bit frightening) and what would better suit the church library or programs or outreach ministry. It was incredible the time it took going through it all, dividing it and then boxing it up. And then I had to clear room to put up my Christmas tree and decorations. Next I have the task of fitting the new in with my existing library and perhaps purging some stuff to make space.

Last week I reflected on the need to continue with the rituals of Advent that just need to be done, like the dishes, in order to centre and prepare us. This week the act of going through and physically making space in my apartment for the tree and the nativity set and other decorations accumulated over the years has taken centre stage. Because the taking stock, of going through what we’ve collected so far on our journey and making room, is so much the work of Advent. And it is work.

It’s the work that Isaiah is talking about in chapter 40:3-5, of a voice in the wilderness calling out to “make straight in the desert a highway for our God. Every valley shall be lifted up, and every mountain and hill be made low; the uneven ground shall become level, and the rough places a plain. Then the glory of the Lord shall be revealed…”

I looked around my apartment this week and sighed. How was this ever going to all get done? But I chipped away at it and slowly but surely it’s coming. It’s going to take more sorting and as I do this sifting through of what I’ve collected and clear out the extra, the out of date, the no longer relevant to who and what I feel called to, I’m making the way for God to come. I’m clarifying my journey and where I’m going and who Jesus is to me. I’m making more room to allow God in me to flow out and to do what is asked of me right now.

Inside of me I acknowledge the work to sort out and prepare my heart. I may have fewer books to trip over but there’s also junk accumulated inside me that looks like stereotypes, fear, racism, privilege, envy, and other things I don’t like to admit. But this is the time to prepare, to house-clean, to make room for the glory of God to be revealed so that everyone I encounter sees the love and grace of the Lord through me.

What uneven ground within us needs smoothing out, what lumps and bumps are getting in the way from us clearly speaking as Christ’s ambassadors in a time when hope is scarce for many? I pray that our hearts will be as ready as our homes for Emmanuel, God with us, to appear yet again.