Love and Joy

Love and joy are two of the candles on the Advent wreath and the first two fruit of the Spirit. I’ve been reflecting on how readily found they are in their purest form.

Last night I caught the last ten minutes of Love Island on tv as I waited for the late night news to start. Like the Bachelor and Bachelorette and Big Brother, it’s about throwing together young, attractive singles who are looking for ‘real’ love. In the scene I saw, the females, all crying at the prospect of losing one of the males, made their choice of who they wanted to ‘couple with’ based on his amazing qualities and the depth of knowledge they had about him after a few days. One was sent packing, told in a text after not being chosen that he had been ‘dumped’ from the island and had 30 minutes to pack up and say goodbyes and then leave. More tears ensued.

It can be challenging to find love represented in media that isn’t pre-packaged, over-produced and is instead about sacrificing for the other. It’s hard to find examples of radical inclusion and welcome, embracing all body types, all races and ethnicities, personalities and viewpoints. Love tends to be portrayed as being about self-love and self-fulfillment rather than serving someone else. I knew that I wouldn’t like Love Island and yet what does it say about the times we live in that it’s on every week-night and probably has high ratings?

Joy, that amazing feeling beyond simple happiness, is portrayed in commercials as resulting from finally finding a simple way of mopping the floor, a stacked washer and dryer set that is remarkably more convenient, that amazing vehicle your neighbour has that distracts you from what you’re doing, or the opportunity to shop at a box store and save money in order to buy even more. How hollow and fleeting and devoid of depth and meaning, and yet that’s what we are served on tv. In social media joy seems to often be about pushing a political message, belittling opponents or the thrill of a good argument and proving ourselves right.

True, deep love and joy are a result of God’s Spirit. The way we know that they are authentic is by the fruit they produce. They aren’t about what we get or how we feel but how we are changed and the world around us is changed, and the people touched by our words and actions who are blessed. Love and joy can push through disaster like flowers through asphalt and concrete. They don’t rely on perfect conditions but on gratitude and an ability to see God’s hand beyond our immediate circumstances.

I’ve spoken to several people this week who have no business being joyful or loving. They have cancer diagnoses, are anticipating death or living with lifelong debilitating conditions. And yet they all laughed with me, were thankful for every blessing in their lives and were able to see God’s bigger picture. None of them would have been candidates for Love Island. None of them care particularly about shopping for that gadget or major purchase which will scratch the itch of having the latest and best. They were all just recognizing how blessed they were despite the trials they were facing. The fruit of their lives blesses me. It inspires me and encourages me to stay grounded and to not be pulled down by things that don’t matter in the long run. They remind me how blessed I am and how much I have gained from others throughout my life.

Love and joy are our companions if we see and live them, choosing to find and grow them within ourselves and then to share them freely. May God be glorified as we do this.

May your week be filled with love and joy that lifts and encourages you.