No Silos Here
/This coming Sunday is Reformation Sunday, a time for Protestant churches to celebrate our common history and, particularly for those in the Reformed family of denominations, to reflect on the things we share.
My church has a unique story around this as the Christian Reformed Church in town was destroyed by a tornado in 1979. Until they could rebuild, they were welcomed into our building, so our relationship with them is a long one. When that church grew enough to merit a second congregation, both congregations then came to worship with us every Reformation Sunday to remember our time sharing the same building. A few years ago another Christian Reformed congregation was also invited to join us.
Normally this Sunday looks like hundreds of people filling our enormous sanctuary. Growing up I remember chairs being placed in the aisles to accommodate everyone. We are still normally a pretty full house and nursery and Sunday school are interesting logistical challenges with kids from four different churches and lots of them. But this year with Covid-19 we aren’t gathering. Instead I suggested that we each send a brief video greeting to include in each other’s services. And we’re doing it. My church has also decided that the community Christmas carol concert we were to host will be attempted virtually to help our local ecumenical ministry to those experiencing poverty and hardship.
I write about this because it occurs to me that so often, especially in a time of challenge or crisis, we are too proud to reach out to other churches in our own denomination let alone those outside it. As I wrote e-mails to leaders of congregations who I barely knew, if it all, asking them to consider participating, I truly wondered if they would. Me being a lay person and this year being such a headache to manage the normal things let alone adding something else on top, I was half expecting no response or polite nos. Instead, it looks like the other churches are game for this Sunday, someone I don’t know has offered to edit our greeting videos into a single file, and responses are starting to come in about the concert.
Sometimes we have good reason to be hesitant about partnering with other churches and denominations. There can be those who have a superiority complex, who come in expecting to lead the show and teach the rest of us how things are done, who we perceive to be pitying us because our numbers and flashiness pale in comparison to theirs, who make demands about wording of theology and threaten to walk if their idea of “truth” isn’t honoured.
Sure, sometimes those things can happen. And sometimes it takes so much energy trying to overcome those differences that the original purpose is lost and egos are wounded and feelings hurt. But, the opposite is also true. What little a single congregation can do to bless others can be multiplied exponentially. Gifts that are missing in your own group pop up somewhere else and everyone contributes something needed. We truly can play together in the sandbox. How do we do it?
Have a compelling and clear vision for what you want to achieve and why other churches are important to that vision. If possible, develop the vision together. Be honest about what you bring to the table and what is missing from your existing team. Show how the vision is beneficial to the whole community.
Accept their responses about taking part, whether it is a hard no or lots of questions or a hard yes. Don’t take it personally if it’s not their thing or they are iffy. You’re asking for an investment from them in their busy church and personal lives. It may require approval from a committee or other group as it impacts the whole congregation. Tied in to respect is offering lots of lead time to enable good decision-making on their part about buying in. If it’s not for them and they’re not into it, it’s best they aren’t involved this time.
Show respect in having as much equality as possible and hearing all voices at the table. It may make more sense to ask groups or individuals to head up a part of the project that stands alone so that they can run with it and have ownership. Communicate that you believe they will do a good job and that you trust them.
Build relationship, don’t just find lackeys to do work. Show that you value those involved. Offer to pray for their ministries, communicate care about challenges they are facing and share some of your own. Offer practical assistance if warranted and realistic. Even if they decline the help, they will feel valued. Emphasize what you hold in common.
Over-communicate throughout the planning and execution and check for clarity. Each church has its own shorthand and terminology. Don’t assume that people understand or will approach something the same way as you. It takes a bit more time in the moment but saves a lot of frustration later on.
Offer thanks afterwards and check in at some later point with those you partnered with to communicate openness to continuing the relationship. Keep the door open for mutual support and other ministry opportunities that will benefit your congregations and the wider community.
We need each other, and while it’s tempting to be silos, all doing and struggling with the same things in house, letting our pride stop us from revealing our humanity to other servants of Jesus is usually a huge waste of possible growth and potential. We need to discern wisely when sharing openly is safe. Not all people will honour it and we need to honour our own people as well. But we can also find support, creative solutions and peers who truly want us to succeed and who will lift us up in prayer.
We don’t have to be lone rangers, whether we are worship leaders, clergy, Christian educators, music directors or administrators. There are others around us, many of whom are just as lost in this pandemic as us and trying to keep their heads above water. How much better to serve each other as the fuller body of Christ, and to reassure each other that we’re not alone?
May God bring you to others who will walk the journey with you and help you to accomplish more than you thought possible in service to your community. May you offer God thanks for those who already do this for you, recognizing how blessed you are.