When the kids are few if any
/In the midst of a bad news weekend in national and international news, I preached at a church where six kids joined me on the steps for children's time.
Even before that, while an elder shared the announcements, a preschooler sitting a few rows behind me joyfully cried out "Oh Poppy!" when his grandpa was part of a joke. During the Passing of the Peace, this same boy grabbed my hand and, before I could say anything, loudly and happily said, "Peace of Christ!" At kids' time, two brothers tried to outdo themselves in answering my questions and were way ahead of me, sharing theological insight and asking questions that made me stop and think - can your soul fall out?
This was not a normal experience for me. Often when I lead worship there are no kids, or the kids who are there are not easily engaged. What makes the difference? It could be a myriad of things, but here are some ideas for what to do with those few who come or not:
1. Celebrate your kids, but not to the point of making them think it's all about them. This is a tricky balance - teaching them their value and loving them as Christ would, while making it clear that we gather to worship and learn about God. God is the main event, but they play a huge role in helping to tell the story and they have particular gifts to share.
2. Take the time to get to know each child and know their names. Use their names and work to uncover what their interests and natural gifts are that can build and encourage the body of Christ.
3. Sporadic attendance is just today's reality for most families. We can rail against it and wish it was different, or we can accept it and do whatever we can to support and nurture those who choose church over so many other options. We can communicate in ways that work for families, whether by e-mail, facebook page, or quick texts letting them know what is happening so that they can dial in and participate meaningfully. We can take the time with parents (and often grandparents) to understand the challenges they face and what would help make church an easier experience. We can choose stand-alone curriculum sessions rather than cumulative learning.
4. Sundays don't work for many families and as a result, we rarely see them. Consider a mid-week worship opportunity, Messy Church, or moving your regular service (I know, pipe dreaming here but it may just work for some places). Post Sunday school content to your church website (be aware of copyright issues) so that kids and families can access and learn whenever works with their schedule, or send activity packs home. Check with families if they have a Bible suitable for the ages of their kids and offer one. Encourage daily reading and websites with family devotions and activities that resonate with your church's theology.
5. Take the contributions of your families, children and youth seriously. They aren't there to make older generations feel better or laugh. They aren't there to alleviate stress about passing the torch or to be trained to perpetuate church the way it's always been done. They carry the light of Christ and shine it on us in so many ways if we truly welcome them and respect their place in the church.
6. Do children's time every week, whether you've got 'kids' or not. I know that often adults connect with it better than any other part of the service. We are all children of God, no matter our age. We are to come to Jesus as a child, and children's time rekindles that child-likeness in us, giving us permission to think and see differently. Let this part of the service not be a bleak reminder that 'kids' aren't with you that day, but a celebration that always happens.
7. If you never have kids, take some time to honestly examine why. Who can you invite and what can you provide for them when they come? In what ways can you support children in your community and build bridges? How can you pray intentionally for children and families? How can you support programs and mission projects that bring hope to kids? Find a way to keep children on your radar.
Children are a gift from God, experiencing a special stage of life that is so amazing and exciting. Their energy is contagious and they remind us of what is important. On this Thanksgiving Sunday, and all year, let's give thanks for the gift they are in our midst. We are indeed privileged to have the task of learning alongside and nurturing them.