Forgiveness and Letting Go

Twenty years ago this summer I was leading a team of youth and young adults offering VBS programs to rural communities. One of the host churches had us all gather on a farm for breakfast outdoors as the mist rolled in over the fields. We sat with our billet families at long tables and ate and ate of the bounty of this farming community with the sun coming up. It’s a meal I’ll never forget. I would imagine the disciples never forgot a particular breakfast with Jesus either.

It happens in John 21. They disciples had returned to what they knew - fishing - after Jesus’ first resurrection appearance to them. They still aren’t understanding what this all means and what they’re waiting for that Jesus promised.

I love this story because it involves all the senses. You can imagine the salty sea air, the breaking of dawn, the talking in the boats and then, after a night of fruitless fishing, the mass of wriggling, slippery fish that they catch after a stranger directs them to put out their nets on the other side. And then the joy at finally recognizing it was Jesus and that they’re reliving that first call story in Galilee. And who doesn’t love a good breakfast? Fish is not my first choice - cold pizza or peanut butter toast would go down better for me - but eating at a charcoal fire on the shore in the early morning with their Lord must have been magic.

Then we come to the part where Jesus talks to Peter. We don’t know if this was a private conversation to the side for just the two of them, or if the others heard it. We do know that Jesus asks Peter specifically three times if he loves Him. This was painful for Peter as it was three times that he had denied his Lord before His death. Jesus asks him to feed and care for His lambs. Then He points to an unwelcome end to Peter’s life for his faithfulness, but still asks him to follow.

It seems a bit of a downer after a wonderful celebratory breakfast. But something special is happening here. Out of the chaos, the grief and the betrayal, the disciples reconnect with Jesus again and are fed. Their futile efforts on their own steam are turned to excessive results when they listen to His direction. The one who let Him down is entrusted with building the Church and the legacy of His ministry. Reconciliation happens where it was perhaps not thought possible.

And this is Good News for us. As leaders we often feel the weight of expectations, our own and others, and expect judgement when things don’t go as planned or implode, when we slip up or behave badly due to stress and our humanity. We can put a lot of pressure on ourselves to reignite the church where it is languishing and turn things around. And sometimes the fish just aren’t biting and we feel useless. We can set the bar so high for ourselves that anything less means we’ve failed or let Jesus down.

But Jesus sees us and calls out to us from shore, showing us a way infused with His Spirit and not just our own efforts. Jesus celebrates with us when we are leading in harmony with God. Jesus sets the table for us and provides a feast. And Jesus reminds us that because of Him we are called and forgiven and led to do amazing things we couldn’t do on our own.

I hope this week you can take time to be near water or just to picture this story and you in it, enjoying breakfast on the beach, safe on shore, laughing with Jesus who is celebrating you. I hope that you can allow yourself to hear His voice and to follow His gentle direction which will enable you to flourish.