80s Reboots: Media Messages and Ministry
/As I write this I’m watching the premier of the reboot of Magnum PI with a critical eye. Coming home from a meeting earlier tonight, a radio phone in program was discussing where the #metoo movement should go next. A common theme was concern about where boys and men are learning what is okay in a relationship and how to relate to women.
I immediately thought of the mostly hideous television that made up my viewing diet growing up in the 80s. I wasn’t allowed to watch the Dukes of Hazzard but definitely watched CHiPs, Magnum PI, Charlie’s Angels and a host of other shows (with accompanying commercials) that displayed men and women’s relationships in a variety of ways. Many made strong statements, usually neither positive nor empowering, about the value and roles of women.
Today there are also a wide variety of portrayals and messages being given about women and men and what relationships are like. Instead of there just being a few channels and certain shows that everyone is watching, now there are hundreds of channels and online options, not to mention video games, youtube content and social media content that can make powerful impressions on young people.
How do we cut through the garbage being served and point our young people to the good stuff? How do we help children and youth lay a solid foundation of healthy respect for themselves and for others so that nurturing relationships can happen? Here are some starting points to consider:
Talk about what it means to be a thinking or critical viewer. We are trained early to be passive consumers. Counter this by asking good questions about what their viewing habits are, how what they’re watching makes them feel, what characters’ choices tell about their values, and what the underlying messages are. Because young people can be watching wildly different content, viewing something as a group enables you to have a common starting place.
Talk about what the characteristics of healthy relationships are and/or what kind of relationship they would like to have. Have youth choose characters from a show they watch or a movie they have seen and rate how the characters either show these characteristics or don’t. What is the impact of their choices on others? Are these people they would want as a friend or significant other?
It is never too early to talk about consent and respecting others’ space and bodily integrity. I saw a post this week where an older toddler was trying to force a hug on another child at daycare. The parent stopped this by explaining that the other child could say no to a hug and want a wave instead. Everyone has the right to set limits about access to their bodies. In youth groups, there can be a high comfort level with physical contact, particularly if the youth have been around each other for years. As this can be uncomfortable for newcomers, it’s good to address how the group will be together and how everyone’s needs can be respected.
Be on the lookout for young people who are struggling or needing to talk about abuse or assault that they or someone they know have experienced. Open the door to conversation by defining with the group what warrants sexual harassment or assault. Create safety to role play things you can do if you are uncomfortable with a situation or how you can help someone else. Know what community supports are around you to help a young person deal with the impact of abuse.
The last statistics I heard were as high as 1 in 2 women having been sexually harassed or abused and 1 in 5 men but this may have shifted. Because males also experience abuse, be careful to not make this a gendered conversation. Create safe space for honest questions, sharing of care and concern, and paving the way for respectful relationships.
We were created for relationship with God and with each other. When we are truly loving and honouring of each other, it’s a beautiful thing. May the church be a beacon of hope and a safe refuge for all who are escaping the world’s brokenness.