Lament and Lent

This month marks a somber anniversary of the pandemic’s grip on the world. Next month marks the anniversary of the start of the first lock-down in Ontario. Our lives will never be the same.

This is Ash Wednesday and the first day of the season of Lent. It is a day to remember our mortality, our dependence on God and our need for forgiveness. The ashes are a striking reminder that we are from the earth and to the earth we will return. Our misguided beliefs that we are masters and commanders of our lives and the world are literally pulverized to dust. God is the One in ultimate control.

As I reflect on this being our second season of Lent in this pandemic, a reality I didn’t fully anticipate, there is much to lament. We lament losses big and small - deaths of friends and loved ones, due to Covid or not, and the inability for most to grieve with family and in community, lack of public worship and fellowship in our churches, canceling of family gatherings, programs, events and trips, kids forced to learn online at home with school closures, jobs and any sense of employment security for many of us, distanced social connection in person if at all. It has all taken a toll.

I personally am lamenting big and small things, some of which include - forgetting that I wanted to make pancakes yesterday for Shrove Tuesday, wishing I had more energy right now for pastoral care to those struggling, frustration with my at times lack of faith or patience or trust in God working all things for good, and at the same time lamenting humanity’s entitlement and narcissism, the constant complaining over perceived violation of our rights due to health restrictions and what we are supposedly owed for breathing, our quickness to blame and demonize Asian people for the pandemic, our conditioning to never be satisfied with what we have and to demand more and bigger and better at the expense of the most vulnerable and the planet. There is so much to lament as a species.

Last night I read an article by Rev. Shalini Rajack-Sankarlal in Broadview magazine about Lent and how normally it is viewed as a time to give up something. She asks the question of how to do Lent in a pandemic, especially when we’ve all given up so much already. Yes, we’ve given up a lot and we could very easily get stuck there, stuck in a place of lament and loss and misery. But there are many things we can and should give up that cost us nothing and would help us, like giving up a victim mentality, belief that our safety is more important than our neighbour’s, lack of trust in God’s care for us, or the expectation that things will return to normal.

Too often we think of Lent as being a time when we’re supposed to feel bad about ourselves, to feel guilt and know that we are the reason Jesus had to die. All of us need to take stock, to repent, to accept and offer forgiveness and to turn back to Christ for our own healing and that of others. However, getting stuck in lament can give us permission to wallow and not change, to get comfortable in our misery and merely sullenly wait out these next several weeks. Similar to our journey through the pandemic, those who have found creative ideas and solutions and provided for and helped others have fared better than those who just holed up at home, angry, anxious and afraid.

Our Lenten journey calls us to not just wait out these weeks leading up to the freedom and joy of Easter but to use this time to be attentive, to better understand Jesus’ love for us, and to perhaps with the insight of the gospel accounts make better choices than the disciples did, choices that serve the Kingdom of God. So we take the time to release and lament, to express our sorrow and angry tears to the God Who can handle our big emotions, and then, resolving to trust in Christ, we look to the road ahead and each day take a few steps closer to Jerusalem. The way will not be free and clear of suffering but it shows us Jesus’ faithfulness and wisdom and great love. We know the end of the story, and that will get us through the tough spots en route. The same is true of our journey through this pandemic and our lives.

May you walk with Christ with intention and hope through these days of reflection and preparation for the promise of Easter.