Puzzle Pieces

I bought a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle a couple of weeks ago that is round and features illustrations of 30 or so women with a brief bio of how they have contributed much to our world. It includes Margaret Atwood, Adele, Marie Curie and Oprah Winfrey among others. Many, many more could have been added.

This is a lighter week for me work-wise (and until I find a second gig, all weeks are lighter) because this Sunday’s service is ecumenical and at the Embro Fair. I have few parts I’m responsible for and I’m excited to hear the guest speaker for the day. It’s a welcome pause in the busy fall church season.

As I worked on the puzzle I had flashbacks to growing up and the Miller approach to jigsaw puzzling - 1) flipping all the pieces, 2) edge pieces put together, then 3) sorting the rest by colour and theme into trays or onto boards. There was earnest discussion about whether the picture on the box was going to be used for reference or not. At times it was a full contact sport as two of us would go for the same piece at once. It’s amazing how that still impacted me as I worked away alone, competing with myself to finish it as quickly as possible (more to create space to do other things than anything else - it’s pretty big!).

I reflected not only on the achievements of these women but also the original vision to put this puzzle together, to do it in the round and to have it as something to inspire people of all ages. More than that, I reflected on having a slower pace, of stepping off the hamster wheel and on how difficult it can be to not be doing work. People in ministry certainly aren’t the only ones who have trouble taking time off and relaxing completely. Still, our work is never finished and there is always another phone call or visit we could have made or way we could have gotten ahead of the game in planning to prepare for the next thing coming.

To spend the day doing a puzzle was surprisingly tough for me and it felt at times luxurious and even wasteful. In the busy fall start-up for everyone else, here I was feeling like I was on vacation. So what did I do? Phone a parishioner who had been in hospital, text with another in a challenging situation, write some e-mails and have webinars playing as I sorted pieces to ‘make good use of my time’.

A spiritual director chided me about not truly taking Sabbath (as in not just having time to nap or binge tv but intentional time spent with God having fun and listening and talking together). I did meditate some as I puzzled and afterward, and I know I could pray far more than I do, but I also know I cheated my opportunity to commune with God. I thought about recent conversations with fellow ministers about the tough landscape for our call these days. What could have been a mini retreat to renew me became much time with purpose to accomplish something, perhaps because facing some of the bleakness of the world and the Church right now is not fun.

There are a lot of puzzle pieces in ministry - those who need seemingly constant attention, those who are barely affiliated and yet plan their funeral to happen in the church, those who give and give and risk burnout, and those who can slip through the cracks whose needs are just as real but never expressed. Then there are the pieces of our days and many tasks no one knows about - denominational responsibilities, the building and finances, administration and e-mail, smoothing some feathers and ruffling others, agonizing over how to approach a delicate situation, praying about how and when to initiate change, to name a few.

It was very satisfying to put all those 1000 pieces together and to make order out of the tube of chaos and to finish something. It was wonderful to see the picture of each trailblazing woman come together, a bit like our gradual understanding and witnessing of the growth in each person in our pews. It was inspiring to see the mosaic of faces and colours as a cohesive whole, like our congregations (which are never complete but keep shifting and growing).

I hope that I consciously take more time to do things I love without the buzz of people’s needs in my head all the time. I hope that I can actually follow through with more focused Sabbath time each week this fall so that I don’t run out of gas in my tank and find freshness in my walk with Christ. I hope that even after my puzzle is disassembled that I will think of the inspiring faces and the potential, individually and collectively, in my congregation where I currently serve, small as we may be right now.

What pieces in your life and ministry are you struggling to put together? When do you find time to deconstruct what is happening and to rest from it all? How do you make room for God without disruption so that you are reminded of how loved and beloved you are? I pray you find the time to bring order and renewal out of chaos.