Talking About Evil with our Kids
/It has happened again, and this time much closer to home. A gunman entered a mosque in Quebec City during evening prayers and killed 6 people, wounding several others.
The beatitudes list peacemakers as those who will be called the children of God. Micah 6:8 calls us to seek justice, love kindness and walk humbly with God. The gospel reading for next Sunday asks us to be salt and light, and, as a friend I just ran into at the bank said, “Do we ever need light in this troubled world.”
Our social media feeds are full of satirical and heart-wrenching pictures and cartoons, nasty rhetoric and ridicule. Recent events have set the stage for hateful and cruel responses. It can feel like a never-ending merry-go-round and, much as it impacts us, without a doubt it is affecting our children and youth.
How we respond to current world events in words and actions says a lot about our character, our faith in God’s provision, and what we believe it means to follow Jesus. Some churches are very comfortable in talking about Satan and the devil, while some choose to speak of evil in other ways. However we label it or define where it comes from, I think we are still in agreement that evil exists and has negative, long-term consequences for our families, our communities and the world.
What will be helpful to our learners as we acknowledge humanity’s deep brokenness? I’m no expert, but perhaps some of what I’ve gleaned over time may help:
1. Be very aware of the ages and sensitivities of your learners. Young children are forming the ability to trust and are highly dependent on caring adults. Focus on providing a positive, safe and nurturing environment where they feel loved. Their experiences of that kind of security will help them to understand later how wrong evil feels. If questions are asked about current troubling events, bear in mind that they may be repeating what they heard in a conversation or on tv and may have no idea what they are talking about. Ask clarifying questions to find out where they are coming from, and give answers that are simple and reassuring.
2. Know how you feel about difficult events that are happening. Take time to pray and ask God to show you ways in which your response is helpful or harmful to others. It can be difficult to admit to our prejudices and stereotypes, our kneejerk responses and assumptions. Spend time with scripture to more closely align your reactions with the ways of Jesus (the Sermon on the Mount is a great place to start). Tell your learners about scriptures that have helped you to cope when things are difficult. Point to leaning on Jesus for hope and comfort.
3. Be aware of how your learners are responding to tragedies and stresses. Show openness to dialogue about things that are happening. Be ready to say “I don’t know”. That is more reassuring than making something up on the spot that is unconvincing and may create anxiety. Remind your kids that God is faithful and loving. Talk about how we have free will because God didn’t want us to be robots. Talk about ways that they have seen people make good choices and bad choices with their free will. Lift up and talk about average people whose lives are/were about protecting and serving others (i.e. Malala Yousafzai, Craig and Mark Kielburger, Mother Teresa, Ghandi). Talk about mercy and justice and how they relate to our faith.
4. The internet can create a lot of confusion and “alternative facts”. Listen and ask questions to find out what information your learners think they know and how it may be a misunderstanding or mix of unrelated stories. Talk with those who have access to social media and the internet about how you can be more discerning about what you read and more helpful in how you respond. Brainstorm healthy ways to shine light, like signing petitions, praying for others, writing letters, walking in solidarity and offering friendship.
5. Create a mural or individual pictures of a) the world that they believe God wants and/or b) things that are currently worrying them/making them fearful. Encourage detail and creativity. Talk about how the world can return to God’s vision of peace. Ask your learners where in their day they see people doing mean or evil things. How might God be asking them to safely be salt and light? Everyone can make a difference.
Most importantly, do we as leaders have hope? The older we get, the more evil we have seen and experienced around us. It can be harder to have a Polyanna response after living through atrocities. But God asks us to never give up or to forget the hope we have received in Jesus. Reflect on how we hold on to that when times are tough. Modeling healthy coping mechanisms will be a huge gift to our children and youth. Find the supports you need and be ready to be salt and light.
“Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing the things that you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.” (Philippians 3:8-9, NRSV)