Loving the Unlovely
/The lectionary continues this week with Jesus’ teaching from the Sermon on the Mount about how we handle those who do us wrong and who are our enemies. We are supposed to let go of the Old Testament take on it – an eye for an eye in retaliation – and instead offer whatever these people want to take from us and more. We are admonished to love and pray for our enemies, instead of just loving and praying for those who like us and who are like us (because even those cheating tax collectors do that).
This is a pretty tall order! And there are lots of enemies and potential enemies around us all the time. And yet, the same facebook post keeps popping up in my feed: “If you have more than enough, don’t build a wall – build a longer table.” This encapsulates Jesus’ teaching to me. How are we modeling radical hospitality that even embraces those who may mock us for lack of understanding of our faith? Or those who for whatever reasons, feel it is alright to take what isn’t theirs and do physical harm?
While we may not call certain people enemies, we may treat them like they are – people who vote differently or believe differently, children with autism or behavioural challenges who disrupt worship and their parents, those who try to swipe toilet paper and other items from the church, the physically or mentally challenged or ill, and the list goes on. Sometimes these people aren’t easy to love, but Jesus doesn’t say it’s optional. It may be a good time for a tune-up on how well your church is doing with this teaching. Consider the following:
1. Look at your worshiping congregation’s makeup and demographics. What level of racial diversity is there and how does it relate to your surrounding community? What segments are missing in the pews, i.e. different generations, socio-economic levels, abilities? Is there greater diversity in your mid-week programs than on Sunday mornings? Why might this be? Strategize ways to be truly welcoming of all who are in your community.
2. How accessible is your building and programming, physically and otherwise? Would seekers know what you’re talking about? Is there a way to gently integrate new people and answer their questions? Talk to anyone in the congregation who represents a minority and, guaranteeing confidentiality, ask about their impressions of being welcomed and their needs being given consideration. Ask what stumbling blocks they have faced as they try to participate and be part of the community.
3. Talk to parents of children and youth and find out what challenges they are facing in being part of the community. Is childcare offered during adults programs? Are special needs kids integrated well? These can be tough conversations to have, especially if parents already feel judged or centred out. Choose the right person to broach the subject in a sensitive way. The feedback may be very eye-opening.
4. Share with the leadership, and possibly the whole congregation, the findings of the above. Talk about those missing from the pews and think about why that might be. Dream about what kind of mosaic God may want to see gathered in your space. Brainstorm ways of addressing unwelcoming attitudes and fears and stereotypes. Remind people that everyone has gifts to share, and that those needing safe harbour of a church like yours may astonish them with what they bring to the community.
5. We may struggle with people within the church who we consider enemies. No matter what went down, no matter how long ago, we are to pray for those we consider enemies and want only good for them. This needs to move from the top down, evidenced by the staff and other leaders. Make a point of modeling this yourself, and of not complaining about that difficult person. Instead, keep it between you and God and possibly a trusted mentor who can help you as you pray for resolution and reconciliation.
I believe that God’s vision for the Church is one that is overflowing with diversity and which includes every segment of the population, particularly the marginalized and discriminated against, the struggling and the broken. If this vision will become reality, we need to be intentional about understanding the particular gifts God has given us to reach people who challenge us, and to prepare for these people to be among us, offering the greatest hospitality possible. After all, when we do this, we do it to Jesus Himself.