The Congregation's Role in Child and Youth Ministry

In a youth ministry course I led, we talked about congregational culture, and in particular the culture around young people. An assignment challenged participants to identify what their church’s culture around youth was and, if they weren’t sure, to ask the youth themselves (and to be ready for brutal honesty).

All churches have spoken and unspoken beliefs about the children and youth in their midst. The “one-eared Mickey Mouse” syndrome is common, where youth are banished to “their” room so that they don’t interfere with the important adult stuff going on. Sadly, those youth rarely join in the adult stuff later on because they never really experienced it. Children are usually given the role of making adults feel good and laugh at children’s time, but good behaviour and relative quiet are expected the rest of the time.

If you serve in a congregation that warmly embraces its young people, know that you are truly blessed. Most churches have at least some work to do to have a healthy relationship with their children and youth. And many people responsible for kids’ and youth programs can feel as though they are out floundering in the ocean alone. So how do you advocate for change and get the support you need? Consider the following:

1. Strategize with your minister and/or worship leaders. Worship is the time that the whole community regularly gathers and whoever is leading worship has elevated status. Talk about the challenges of your church’s culture and attitudes towards children’s and youth ministry. What are the biggest issues? Which ones make sense to try to tackle first? How might these be addressed somehow in worship? Get on the same page and be a united front as you attempt to bring about positive change.
(Note: If the minister/worship leader is part of the problem, you may struggle to make any headway - more about this in an upcoming blog.)

2. Have a consistent message that all people are an important part of the congregation, regardless of age. Lift up and celebrate the children and youth among you and incorporate them fully in what is going on. Provide opportunities for them to take on tasks that are appropriate to their age and stage and gifts, such as greeting or collecting the offering or reading scripture or providing music. Be sure that these are not just token tasks assigned to them so adults get out of doing them.

3. Find specific ways to have different age groups engage with each other. Ask for prayer partners to pray for specific families or children or youth. Ask younger people to pray for the adults and leadership. Have inter-generational activities and meals where people are mixed together and get to know each other. Build bridges of understanding so that when the children’s and/or youth ministry budget comes up, faces and actual needs are attached to it for people.

4. Remind the congregation regularly of the promises made at baptism to help children to grow in faith. Add practicality to this by showing how the budget for programs, the need for volunteers, and even the church library are all ways of keeping those promises. Challenge the congregation to continue to prayerfully discern how God is asking them to honour their commitment to the next generations.

5. Celebrate and lift up all those who catch the vision for kids and youth ministry in big or small ways, whether as weekly dedicated leaders and coordinators, or as advocates or good friends of young people, caring deeply and connecting with them. Make this the norm and notice and mention the changes you see happening because of these bonds.

Everyone in the congregation is called to contribute in some way to the ministries offered to children and youth, regardless of how long they have been around. Contrary to sometimes popular belief, we’ve never really “done our time” already. Our role and ability to take part may shift, but we are all responsible for those coming after us. This is something to celebrate! God calls us again and again to learn from and share our own wisdom with those younger than us. What a wonder and privilege to share the gifts of each stage of our lives!