Doubt and De-Construction
/Last year I chose the passage from John about “doubting Thomas” among my Easter season scriptures for worship. This year I chose a similar passage from Luke where Jesus once again bypasses locked doors to be with His disciples. In the Luke 24:33-49. version, rather than Thomas being the only one slow to believe, Jesus says that everyone in the room has doubts about Him. He even asks them to bring cooked fish for Him to eat in front of them to prove that He has been bodily resurrected.
This story comes right after the Emmaus Road story of the two disciples who didn’t recognize that Jesus had been walking with them the whole time.They only realize it’s Him when He breaks bread with them and blesses it. Then they do an about face and race back to Jerusalem to tell the others, those others being the ones in the locked room, terrified for their lives.
I watched a terrific episode Monday of See Hear Love which you can watch here about doubt and de-construction of our faith. I’d been thinking about this and how often we finger point at Thomas, shaming him for what probably many were and are feeling. I’ve also been thinking about how this time of pandemic is likely about as earth-shaking for those of us in the church as that time was for the disciples. What they knew of faith and walking with God seemed to have been turned upside down. They weren’t sure of their faith identity or what to believe and were fearful of what was coming next.
We have all on some level had to de-construct our faith in the past year. For many it has been because faith is so equated with a place of worship and certain people and a kind of experience. When we’ve been forced into lock-down and death is around us, who is Jesus to us? Do we notice Him showing up, moving through the barriers of self-protection we put up? What is the church when we can’t gather? What things always taken for granted have slid into doubt territory because of the enormity of not just the pandemic but racial tensions and climate change?
The episode makes the helpful distinction between de-construction and destruction. When we de-construct, we pull something apart to better understand its components and to reconsider where things go and if they are needed. As we move forward and accept that we can’t return to what was, re-construction is so important, not just of our beliefs but of the very nature of church and how to faithfully rebuild it to flourish in these times. Re-construction needs to happen with care, intention and discernment.
The episode reminded me that we walk by faith and not by sight. The question is asked - where did we get the idea that faith is about certainty? Thomas, usually known only as the doubter, went on to be the first missionary to India. Where we often see doubters as a problem, we should see them as an opportunity. They are wrestling, asking questions, not taking things for granted, and seeking truth. All of these are good things that can lead to sturdy faith.
If we ourselves are doubting or questioning, we are in good company. This is important work as we strive for authenticity in aligning our faith and our current stage of life. Faith is not static but a journey. Easy answers will not propel Christ’s mission forward. This work that we do, re-examining and re-imagining church and seeking to be increasingly faithful is a gift we can give to God.
We all have a calling to move through times of wrestling and growth as well as times of stability and sharing what we have been shown of God’s nature and vision. Don’t worry if you are currently experiencing the first of these - Jesus won’t abandon you but will walk through walls to be by your side and to compassionately prove who He is.