Cellphones, Technology and Youth Ministry

As part of planning for an upcoming youth conference I'm part of, the discussion about use of cellphones during group learning had to happen. This is just one example of how technology has become so central in our lives, a big transition from fifteen or even ten years ago.

When choosing curriculum for youth group a while back, one option I considered included prompts to text others in the group with thoughts on the topics. It seemed to be a "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" approach. At my last youth ministry position, several computers were in my office, previously used by students for homework. They were quickly obsolete and removed, partially because online activity was so hard to monitor and poor choices were being made by the young people.

We are to be in the world and not of the world. I don't know about yours, but my newsfeed tends to be filled with reminders about the dangers of too much screen time, of joint and back problems from too much texting, of the loss of ability to relate to people face to face and the cost of not spending enough time outside. Technology and the need to be in on whatever the latest thing is and to have many friends who contact you regularly electronically are all highly valued in today's culture. When I suggested that cellphones should go in a box at the start of a previous youth group, the response was immediate and clear - I had no right to do that.

Addiction to devices is real. This is the world that our young people are forced to navigate and that surrounds them constantly. Adolescence is tough enough without worrying about sexting, cyber bullying and yet another status item that separates the haves from the have nots, So what is a faithful response for leaders?

We need to keep ourselves informed about what they are dealing with - what new apps and social media vehicles are popping up, good, bad and ugly. We don't necessarily need to use them ourselves, but just have an ear to the ground.

We need to have regular conversations with our young people both as they prepare to enter the world of cellphones and social media and once they are immersed. Create safe space, if not with the whole group then one on one, for youth to be real about their online lives. Just how important should it be to them how many 'friends' and likes they have? When are they in control of their phone and internet use and when is it controlling them?

We need to help to equip parents to have conversations with their kids about safety and healthy limits, and to decide what access they can/should have to their child's accounts. Parents are still the most important influence in their lives. We can help to empower them to have positive dialogue about phone and internet usage and to open the door to offer help when any trouble surfaces.

We can decide together what works for the group in terms of cell use when you're together. It may be acceptable for everyone to stack their phones, it may be acceptable for youth to have them in their pocket with agreement that they won't be used, or it may be acceptable to have a part of group time when use is okay and other times when phones are off limits. Talking about what it means to be present to each other and to God is a good starting point.

We can note which kids are struggling, and even compromising their mental health, because of their technology usage and offer to help them unpack what's going on, possibly referring them to a professional. We can offer grace and support to 'helicopter' parents who need to be in constant contact with their child. We can have gentle conversations about the impact of that behaviour, where that need might come from and perhaps even how to better meet that need. Their kid's teachers and employers will thank you.

Probably most important of all, we can model responsible use of our own phones and social media. We can set healthy boundaries on how we interact with youth on social media. It is good practice to only have them on your work facebook or e-mail account and to always be very careful with language in texts, and other messages and images posted. Just as their accounts will never be erased from the internet, neither will ours. 

Technology is powerful and can make our lives easier, putting helpful information at our fingertips and enabling fast communication. We can use it responsibly and teach our youth to as well in ways that honour God and each other. May God guide our leading and choices, always pointing them to belief in themselves and their God who is always available to them.