Feeling Snowed
/After a January thaw and the disappearance of virtually all the white stuff, winter is officially back. Though I just shoveled several centimeters of snow, I know that in a few hours it will all just need to be done again.
Ministry can begin to feel like that. You just get through Advent and Christmas stuff at the church, as well as all the family obligations and friend visits, and then you’re into the throes of Lent preparation, and Easter seems a few short weeks away. The “low Sundays” Sunday school stuff (which was supposed to be simpler but with so many people away proved not so) has been replaced with the ongoing challenges of the regular program. Small fires that seemed to have been put out tend to re-ignite.
We keep waiting for that time when the schedule will ease up and the demands will be less, and it never seems to come. So, what do we do? The reality is that people are happy to let us do whatever we are willing to take on and to have very high expectations, particularly of paid staff. It’s our choice what we do with the fact that ministry never ends, and to figure out how to slow down the treadmill and even step off it every once in a while. Here are some suggestions:
1. Recognize that you are a human being rather than a human doing. Even if you accomplish very little in your lifespan, God will not love you any less. It can be so tempting to believe that our worth comes from how well we are known in the community, how many youth come to church or own their faith, or how many programs we birth. And typically, those we report to are focused on numbers too. Unless we can accept that we have just as much value outside of doing ministry, we will struggle to step off the treadmill.
2. Take a serious look at your calendar. Also take a reality check of what is not on your calendar, such as social media time, parenting responsibilities and housework. As you consider all that you are doing, honestly assess how it makes you feel. Are you anxious, frustrated, overwhelmed, grinning and bearing it, or feeling guilty you’re not doing more? If you’re feeling anything besides good, carefully think about why that is and what you can do about it. You may need to involve a partner or other members of the household in this conversation.
3. Book time for yourself and God first. If your calendar needs more than a little tweaking (which can be terrifying, especially if that involves telling the church you can’t ‘do it all’ and need to cut back) then start with a blank page and list your priorities, beginning with self-care. Do you have time for exercise you enjoy, time to actually prepare meals that are not frozen dinners, time to dream and journal and capture who and how you are right now? Do you have daily quiet time with God to recharge your batteries? Pick a time and approach for devotions that fits you.
4. Identify stressors in your life. Take a block of time without other distraction to brainstorm different ways of handling them. Talk with someone you trust who knows you and the situation well and get some advice. Sometimes the amount of energy we put into problems is far more than is needed for resolution.
5. De-clutter. Book off a day to go into your workspace, whether at home or at church, and go from one end of the room to the other to get rid of whatever is no longer current. This isn’t necessarily about throwing out, although that’s good too, but it’s about keeping what is in your sightlines just about what you are needing now. The rest can be stored or chucked, and whatever needs attention can be put in priority order. If the to do pile is high, pick off as many quick fix items as possible to reduce it (i.e. quick e-mails or phone calls or internet research).
6. Have fun regularly. Christian ministry is not slavery and relaxing with something completely un-related to work is important for your mental health. Figure out what this is for you – watching inspiring movies, baking, hiking, meeting up with others “in the biz” for coffee and laughs, a hobby, day trips, dinner out, or family games night.
We may never totally get rid of those times when everything seems to happen at once, but we can be pro-active to recognize that those times will come and to plan our lives to be better able to absorb them.
May God bless you as you discern what is healthy and life-giving for you so that you can be a Life giver to others.