Vacation is Over
/I’m fresh back from holidays and I just re-read my last blog from July. I barely remembered what I had written, just that it was about my hopes for my vacation. So how did I do?
Well, my first Sunday off I got a sore throat. Because that’s one of the myriad symptoms of Covid-19 and my roles require interacting with the public I knew that I needed a Covid-19 test just in case. I booked my appointment and got the deep recesses of my nostril tickled with a swab. Lucky for me, my results came within 24 hrs - thankfully negative - but not quickly enough to avoid a delay in our plans getting away. The scare was a serious reminder that this is all very real and that our distancing and masking up and cleaning matter.
Given all this, it took me a bit longer to actually relax than anticipated, but I did get some time walking trails, being by water, lying on my back and looking at the sky, reading and watching movies. No campfires, but there were plenty of other great things to make up for that. And generally, at least for the first two weeks, I was pretty good at putting down the weight of the last several months and the hurts and struggles of the church where I serve. Last week, anticipating coming back and already back at my other job, that got harder to do.
While I was somewhat successful in unplugging, I have the same sense I often do coming back from vacation. Did I get the amount of rejuvenation I needed? Is my tank re-filled so that I can face the onslaught ahead of me? Because like many churches and places, we’re preparing to re-open and plans and policies are being developed to ensure that this is done safely. And the regular busyness of fall is staring us in the face with the added weight of uncertainty about schools, program viability and the possibility of a second wave of the virus.
As I ponder this I come to the same answer I usually do. A few weeks of holiday can’t do it for us for the year. If we go full tilt, especially in this time that is even more draining of our mental and spiritual resources, we’re going to collapse in a heap somewhere. So as I look at what’s in store for me over the next several weeks, I take a deep breath and hope that I in time remember to keep doing the following:
I remind myself that I did take down time on my holiday successfully, and I don’t beat myself up for the times that I thought ahead to work and people I was concerned about. I offer thanks for all of it and recognize that I’m human and loved by God regardless.
I don’t see returning to work and holiday time as black and white, but instead grey (or better yet a rainbow). It is entirely up to me to give of myself but also to feed myself well spiritually and physically, to set boundaries around my time and to make relationships and opportunities to unplug a priority.
I ask people around me to help me to know when I’m starting to over-stress, over-do and over-commit. I ask them to help me remember that I’m not a Messiah or Super Hero but just a cog in the great plan and vision of God. I need to return regularly to humility and the feet of Jesus to maintain perspective.
I plan for Sabbath and down time regularly so that my next holiday (which will likely be Christmas - a very tricky time to actually holiday given all the family expectations and church events) doesn’t have to bridge the gap of 5 months of going all out.
We need to be wise in these times of holiday and work balance, of Covid-19 and the anxiety it provokes in all of us, and living in a time when divisions are threatening to be an exploding powder keg. Time with God helps us to re-frame, to find strength in God’s care for us, and to allow ourselves to be nurtured by the Word and others who want to gift us from what God has called them to share with us.
Whether you are currently on holidays, or anticipating a break or returning, may you accept that you are doing the best you can in this time, may you lean heavily into God to guide you to find what you need most, and may you be renewed and fulfilled to continue in serving where God has called you to be.