Endings and Beginnings Part 1
/We are almost into the month of June, signaling the end of the school year, graduations and Sunday school picnics. As some things end, summer and all its possibility beckons. I've been talking recently with a few people anticipating retirement and other life changes. How we prepare for and move through endings and beginnings is important, particularly in ministry.
We weren't meant to do the same thing forever, whether our career or ministry role. The same applies to our leaders and volunteers. So how do we best handle the volunteer who hands in their resignation or simply says "I won't be back in the fall"? Here are some suggestions:
1. Take a breath. It can hurt when a long-time colleague says they are done. We can wonder if it's about us and our leadership, or if there is some kind of personal crisis. We can feel guilty about the support we didn't offer, or anger about the issues that may have fueled this decision. In some cases, we may even feel relief if the person wasn't a great fit for the task. Before you respond, take a moment to breathe so that your initial reaction doesn't spill out on someone who may have struggled to give you this news.
2. Ask good questions with sensitivity. "Is it about me?" is not a great opener. "I'm sorry to hear this - is there anything that I or the team could do to change your decision?" or "Is there any way that I can support you as you transition out of this role?" are much better. Be aware of how and when the person tells you. Offer to go for coffee or to have a phone chat without others around so that you can perhaps get to the heart of why this choice was made. It may be due to burnout or health concerns or it may be about conflict and frustration.
3. Listen well. Value this person by how seriously you take their stepping back. They may be hurting and your attention may be enough to cause them to reconsider. Even if there is no chance of changing their mind, the respect you offer may open them to being willing to help in some other way or, at very least, to finish with dignity and a feeling of being valued.
4. Respond well. Accept what they have to say, offer to look into and/or address any concerns that may have been mentioned, and affirm their gifts and the time they offered while they served. There is something positive to say about every single volunteer (and often many things) that will affirm them and their ministry. Think of a way of honouring the person publicly which will resonate with them - a thank you and flowers during worship, a special card from participants in the program they led, taking a collection for a special gift presented at the last night of the program, taking them out for tea or whatever else fits their personality.
5. Care for yourself. Whether you lose one volunteer or several, it is not easy. Part of your team is gone, and there is work to be done to rebuild or reconsider the program. Whether the role they played was large or small, they will be missed. Give yourself space to grieve this loss and what it means for your ministry. Do something fun to restore yourself before jumping on the bandwagon of finding replacements.
May you be filled with grace and compassion as you respond to those who discern that their time serving has finished. With respect and care, this transition can strengthen your relationship and open the door for a return later or a different role that will strengthen your team. Be gentle with them and yourself.