When the rubber meets the road

I just finished reading the sermon given by the chaplain, Sean Brandow, for the Humboldt Broncos at the vigil this past Sunday night as he struggled with the 15 lives lost and 14 injured in the horrific crash. I was so happy that he didn't offer cliches or easy answers to this devastating tragedy. 

Here we are a week after Easter and celebrating that Jesus died and has given us eternal life, and our belief in a good God has been put to the test. Why did this happen? Where was God? These were the two big questions that Sean addressed. Already out of this tragedy there have been glimmers of hope - other lives saved thanks to organ donation, a community drawn together in solidarity, support from across the nation and beyond, and a go fund me campaign that has surpassed $4,000,000 within 48 hours of the crash.

I am anticipating attending a funeral this Friday for a young man who was in my youth group years ago. While the Humboldt story hit me due to its scope, this death is much more close to home and also leaves me with many questions. As Sean said as well, I'm a ministry professional and I'm supposed to have answers but I just don't. I feel somewhat at a loss and have had to spend time sifting through my own emotions and how to be a support.

Tragedy is going to happen in ministry. We have an awesome God that we consistently try to point to, but when the tragedy involves those who have become close to us and when we are relied on to provide leadership and care, it is not easy. What can we do to continue to answer our call in difficult circumstances?

1. Give yourself permission to feel and to grieve. Too often I think we feel that being a ministry professional means we need to always be in control of our emotions, and able to function above them instead of acknowledging our humanity and the toll taken on us. We don't want to be completely falling apart in front of the family or as we lead, but to admit to our grief does not show weakness.

2. Take care of yourself. Rarely will people realize that you are also struggling, so you need to be responsible for your self-care. Take a nap, talk it out with a colleague, watch out for emotional eating and try to stock up on healthy foods, and be aware of prioritizing your own needs along with the needs of those who are hurting. 

3. Find comfort in God. Admit to God how hard this is and what your needs are. God already knows, but being honest about how we are actually doing and seeking God's help is very healthy. God can handle our anger, disillusionment, guilt and sadness. We can cling to the promise that God is journeying with us always whether we can sense it or not.

4. Watch for signs of hope in darkness. Where is this situation being used to bring about healing, to strengthen relationships, to offer a needed wake-up call, to affirm the goodness in others and God's care for us? How are we being led to listen carefully and affirm those signs to those in need?

5. Know this isn't it. Emotions in the moment can be overwhelming and we can wonder how we will make it through. But the journey continues, and each day is different as the story evolves. We will not be in this moment forever and God will work through what is happening. If you find that you are stuck in darkness, unable to move forward after days or even weeks, seek professional help.

We are resurrection people, and we need to say that for those who have forgotten or can't believe it at the moment, even if that is sometimes us. We need to be good to ourselves and allow God's promises to inhabit us. Christ is risen and walks with us on our Emmaus road. Thanks be to God.