Kids’ Time and Tough Audiences

She arrived just before morning worship and I could tell the day was already not going well. Her parents showed enormous patience with their oldest, who was all of 5, but things were just off kilter from the get-go and by children’s time, she was having none of it. Unfortunately for me, she was the only child that day. My first question of welcome to her was met with a sullen “No!” and things went downhill from there as she tried to inch away and escape. In the moment, I said, “Alright, well we’re all God’s children and this time is for us” and kept going, my audience the whole congregation.

I wrote a few weeks ago about having few or no kids and encouraging carrying on with children’s time anyway. I also want to say that I struggle with this part of worship sometimes and have read many takes on whether to continue it or not, whether it turns kids off and/or panders more to adults who like to see the children and who sometimes love to see the worship leader squirm when kids are kids and making things challenging. I’ve read about developmental stages and how children are not ready for object lessons intellectually or to think in abstract terms. I’ve read about how making them the centre of attention performing under a spotlight is neither a good way to teach nor a healthy introduction to faith.

And yet, children’s time is something I fight for and that many people look forward to in the service. So how can we make it healthy, positive and nurturing of faith in ways that stick? How do we respond if things go off the rails? Consider some of these ideas:

1. Determine your beliefs about children in church and worship
How we put together children’s time says a lot about what we believe the role of children is. Take time to read scripture about how Jesus was with children. What does your congregation think is most important to share with them about faith? Are there assumptions made that need revisiting, such as that children need to be quiet and sit still and listen, and have nothing to teach us? Design children’s time through the lens of what you determine that you believe about them.

2. Make it about the whole congregational family
This should be neither a performance by the worship leader nor by the kids to entertain the rest of the congregation. We are all God’s children and we all have things to learn from each other. Invite everyone’s responses to questions, particularly if there are few children to take the pressure off them. Consider having one or more members prepare something to share, i.e. where they saw God this week, what they’re thankful for, the difference church and faith have made in their lives, etc. It doesn’t have to be a testimony that covers their whole life. Celebrate the journey you are all on together and the gift of hearing about people’s faith and how God is speaking to them.

3. Make it about God’s story
You are all journeying together, just as the people in the Bible did. Telling one of the stories together, costumes and props or not, is a holy undertaking, bringing you all into the living story of the Bible. There are numerous ways of doing this, everything from Young Children and Worship style to scripts to you as the worship leader saying all the lines and background information while your actors move as you direct them to create the story. Try to involve the whole congregation in some way – people in the pews could be the wind or the waves, crowds shouting something, or sheep on a hillside. This is your congregation’s story and God’s story to discover together.

4. Keep the focus where it needs to be
If you’ve got children who are not excited to participate, don’t treat them with any more attention than you do an adult who falls asleep during the service or talks or needs to leave to get a glass of water. They aren’t the focus – worshiping God and celebrating the story is. If a child is so distracting that people can’t hear and caregivers aren’t clueing in, you may need to offer a cue of “perhaps Sally might like to go for a walk for a few minutes”. Stay calm, but make it clear in your response that this time is about what God might be trying to say to us and show us, not about ourselves.

I think that I will always love children’s time, even when the rails fall off, even when I struggle to find words for a difficult question, even when I know that at least some people see it as for them and not for God. I love it because it is an amazing opportunity to be real and unscripted, to teach the whole church family the story and teachings of God in fun and even unorthodox ways, and to remind everyone that we all have a role to play as God's children in the congregation’s life and journey.

May you be inspired to make children’s time a highlight in your worship!