When Church Isn't Safe
/Yet again, tragedy in the form of a mass shooting has taken place, and this time in a church in small-town Texas during worship. Most of the attempts to respond in newsfeed and on air that I've come across (besides that “our thoughts and prayers are with you” has begun to ring pretty hollow) seem to focus on horror at a place of worship being targeted. The one place where we should feel safe and able to find sanctuary is no longer guaranteed, if it ever was.
In Canada we had the attack last January in a mosque in Quebec City where lives were taken. Synagogues and other places of worship have been vandalized. In the wake of the #metoo campaign that has swept social media along with a seeming tidal wave of sexual assault allegations, a facebook post has addressed the reality that female clergy routinely experience sexual harassment. Some priests and clergy have themselves been complicit in abuse of congregants. We also have to acknowledge that some of our young people (and adults) come to us already abused in some form and live out those scars in many ways, sometimes posing a risk to themselves and others.
In these difficult times, what is a realistic response for those of us charged with responsibility for young people and adults? How do we help our congregations to feel safe without assuming that “it couldn’t happen here”? Consider the following:
1. Know Your Policies and Implement Them
This may seem obvious, but it is not. Most denominations have policies for protecting the vulnerable and guarding against sexual harassment. Look on your denominational website for them, ask whether there is a current committee responsible for this vital area of church life, and find out when there was last training and implementation. The first time this is taken on can seem intimidating, but once the policy is in place, maintenance and review are usually all that is needed.
2. Do the Training and Spread the Word
I once offered a workshop on denominational policies around harassment and safety at a church I was serving. Within 2 weeks of offering the workshop, 1/3 of the participants had come to speak to me about their own personal experience of abuse (inside or outside the church) and/or something they’d heard from someone else and not taken seriously. Those were just the ones who came to talk specifically to me, never mind those who may have spoken to someone else. When we give people tools and opportunity to talk about these things and heal, and set out what our standards are of how to handle difficult situations, we are empowering and strengthening our congregations and leaders.
3. Communicate and Uphold Standards
Implementing changes to protect leaders, young people and vulnerable adults can seem a hassle at times, especially in a church where everyone already knows each other. Being asked for a police check can ruffle feathers. Have the right people communicate with leaders about why it is important and that it is not personal and any information will not be public. Follow your policy’s instructions of how to handle sensitive information.
It can also be tempting to have dotted your i’s and crossed your t’s the first time and then let things slide. Be vigilant – it’s not a one-time thing that you sign in and out your kids or have a hall monitor or an adult sitting by an entrance watching for someone casing the building or needing help during worship and activities. These kinds of things, as deemed relevant to your situation, need to just become part of the church culture, as natural as breathing and just as life-giving to reassure everyone that we are caring for each other’s safety.
4. Talk to the Experts
Follow the policy, but also consider getting insight and input from professionals in your community. Talk to CAS (Children’s Aid Society) about how to handle abuse disclosures in the best way. Talk to a police officer about how to deal with someone who has shown up high or drunk or who is clearly not there for the right reasons. Talk to the fire department about meeting code for safety and have them watch you do a fire drill. Building bridges with the community will help you to feel more relaxed and confident.
The likelihood of a large disaster at your church is rare, but the conversations around safety and security issues need to happen so that people feel heard and valued. With a plan in place and reminders of God’s care for us and the strength we have working together, you can help to reassure leaders and the congregation.
Be safe and be grateful for just how privileged we are in Canada to worship and live out our faith so freely.