Filling the Roster

The second half of Acts 1 is a time of in-between waiting. How many of us can relate? Jesus has given final instructions and ascended. The disciples are to return to Jerusalem and sit tight until the Spirit is sent powerfully to ignite their mission.

These verses fill in the time until Pentecost and could have lasted many days. Verse 15 on reads a bit like a good Presbyterian annual meeting. Peter notes that after Judas’ suicide they don’t have a full complement of twelve disciples, twelve likely representing the twelve tribes of Israel. So the vacancy needs to be filled before the big action of Pentecost starts. They ‘draw lots’ having narrowed the field down to two good men meeting the criteria, and ultimately Matthias is chosen.

I’ve recently heard the theory that this very human approach to the perceived problem was actually probably not God’s way or will. Instead, it was suggested that Saul, later to be referred to as Paul, was actually God’s chosen twelfth apostle, and that the disciples were jumping the gun out of their own anxiety and discomfort over more waiting and uncertainty.

I don’t know if the choosing of Matthias was divinely desired and inspired, or whether Peter and the other followers only knew this sort of structure for decision-making so they fell back on it, just as they had fallen back into fishing after the resurrection. They took time to pray and try to discern before voting, perhaps more intentionally than at most of our annual meetings. Peter communicated clearly and people accepted his leadership.

All of this hits close to home for me as one of the elders from my congregation is in the process of moving away and we will need to add to our team. We’re a small rural church, which is a blessing in that everyone has an important role to play. It’s also a challenge in that we don’t have a lot of extra people to draw from to fill spots.

A podcast I just listened to talked about the pivot being required in more and more churches of clergy supporting the laity who are primary leaders, rather than clergy leading and directing the laity. We are running short on ordained ministers in many denominations through retirements, burnout and lack of those graduating to fill the ranks. We also face the reality that so many shrinking churches can’t afford half-time let alone full-time clergy. The look of the church is changing dramatically. The idea of the priesthood of all believers is more and more needed as a rallying cry and model.

Reflections on ‘pastor-less’ churches in PCUSA circles, pointing to a model of a regional ordained and trained person coaching and equipping lay pastors rather than having their own parish or congregation, recently kicked up a fuss. The anger and anxiety this evoked is interesting and clearly a perceived threat to the call of the ordained. As a layperson called to ministry I’ve certainly been treated with suspicion and as a threat and continue to be seen that way in some circles. This is despite having a theological degree and over 25 years in paid accountable ministry of one kind or another, all done with no safety net, pension or benefits except for when I worked briefly in another denomination.

As I read the second half of Acts 1, I can’t help but wonder - is this actually the model we’re called to follow or is it merely what they could come up with in their grief and fear and earnest desire to honour Jesus’ wishes? If it’s our blueprint, women would still be off the ballot. But as we struggle to walk through our own in-between time of uncertainty in how the Spirit will show up and renew us, and as we push against tradition that perhaps no longer serves us, we do the best that we can.

I wonder if we are stopping and allowing ourselves to just be still and listen, trusting that God has this and us and will show us what is next. Are we disciplined enough to take adequate time to pray, to discern together, to embrace people from different places on the theological spectrum and to recognize that this is all far bigger than us? Are we laying the foundation to equip lay people so they feel that their God-given gifts are worthy and to invest in them and support them so that they can confidently lead?

I can’t help but think of Matthias and perhaps his discomfort about Barsabbas not being chosen, all to preserve the magic number of twelve. Is there room to use the people and gifts already present and to truly believe that everyone has a place for an important role, rather than having someone seemingly voted off the island at every turn?

May our in-between time bring us clarity so that we put down the things that no longer serve us and in humility ask and listen for God’s direction. May our growth and wisdom come because we have not allowed ourselves to fear the waiting time or people who don’t fit neatly in the box prescribed by human religious systems. May we be so desiring of closeness to God that we can easily recognize the divine voice and presence. May we welcome the Spirit and Her gifts when they come in large and small ways to bless and challenge and grow us.