Reflections on another Remembrance Day

/

Yesterday I watched the coverage of Remembrance Day on Parliament Hill from the safety of my couch. I justified not walking to the cenotaph here in town because of feeling a cold coming on, but really I just needed a day to re-calibrate and putter and reflect on my gratitude by myself.

Leading Remembrance Day services is more demanding and tiring for me than most other services. The emotions are heavy, and people’s different expectations of how things should be done and what best honours veterans need to be handled carefully. And then there are my own emotions I need to keep in check. I was aware of all of the moving parts and people’s nervousness and personal attachments and concerns as we went through the service.

As I watched the ceremony from Ottawa I realized that it was important for me to do, to honour those who gave so much for the freedom of people in Canada and around the world. I also was reminded that it is important to honour my own needs, so I had a nap yesterday afternoon and dialed back how much I had hoped to accomplish.

As worship leaders and Christian educators, there will be days, services and events that take the stuffing out of us for a variety of reasons. Certain years and seasons will be more challenging than others, but once we’ve served others faithfully and led professionally, we need to re-connect with our own needs so we can recover. In the midst of our first snowfall of the season, I took the opportunity to cocoon a bit, snuggle under a blanket for a while, and then chipped away at household tasks that had piled up. I consciously slowed myself down as I did what actually needed to be done and then let myself unplug.

All of this is about self-care, and as I’ve been told and read many times, few if any will care about your self-care, especially if you don’t. Those who do are rarely around to make sure you see it through. People don’t have your perspective or know how intense situations are impacting you, especially in the midst of the rest of your life. And this is good - the vast majority of people shouldn’t know the nitty gritty of your private life if you’re employed in their midst unless they supervise you or possibly are your colleague. Boundaries are good for everyone’s sake.

When that challenging season or event happens, we need to have a ready list of ways to cope so that we can be ready for the next thing we’re called to do. I invite you to reflect and make up your own list of go-to self-care ideas so that you are able to replenish your resources. Even days that are predominantly happy and joyful can be draining, so have your toolbox ready even for those things that might on the surface not seem that demanding. As a starting point, think of which of the following have worked for you in the past to restore your soul:

  • reading the Bible, or blogs, books, online articles or magazines from a faith perspective

  • reading picture books, novels and other materials that are not specifically about faith

  • naps, massages, yoga, deep breathing, walking, sitting in a sauna or hot tub

  • hiking, gardening, mowing the lawn, feeding birds, sitting by a lake

  • baking, cooking, sewing, painting, drawing, sculpting

  • listening to music, playing music, going to a concert or play

  • cleaning your home, doing dishes, organizing, de-cluttering

  • watching a movie or tv shows, listening to the radio or podcasts

  • phoning a friend, connecting with family, talking to a counselor

  • praying, meditating, journaling, sitting in a quiet sanctuary, worshiping at another church

  • playing a sport with others, bowling, playing pool, running, hitting the gym

  • doing a jigsaw puzzle, a crossword, sudoku or other mental challenge

  • eating out at a restaurant, going for coffee, visiting a local museum or art gallery

  • going on a drive to a new place or exploring an old haunt with new eyes

  • cleaning up trash, playing with someone else’s child, collecting items for a family in need

  • re-reading past journals, drawing a life map, reflecting on your journey of the last year or more

  • adding to a gratitude journal, writing cards or e-mails of thanks to people or phoning them

  • writing down the things you like about yourself, putting post-its of encouragement on the bathroom mirror or fridge, re-reading inspirational quotes or thank yous from others

  • having a social media holiday and turning off your phones

You may find that you have many more to add to this list, but it is a good start. Write out the ones that have best helped you in the past and consider others to try. What do you have to lose? And don’t wait until you are completely depleted to try doing these things. Do something that builds your resilience and restores you daily if you can.

May you find the ability to be still and know that God is God each day so that you can find the replenishment and rest that you need.