Nets that are Breaking

I’m continuing to be a week behind the lectionary in the worship materials I’m creating, which means I get to see a few other people’s takes on the gospel story and can percolate on them before I write.

This week I’m all about the calling of the disciples, often called “the miraculous catch of fish”. It’s funny how what is happening around us and within us can so colour our reading of a well-known story. Instead of immediately thinking of fun kids’ action songs from VBS and Sunday school (i.e. Peter, James and John in a sailboat…down by the deep deep sea) instead I just felt the exhaustion of the disciples as I reread the account in Luke 5. Jesus’ request of Simon to use his boat to preach from wasn’t a big ask. Sure, we can share our resources and listen to a great teacher.

But the ask, in front of a crowd, to go back out and fish again after coming in from a long night of catching nothing - tedious, boring, disappointing work, to say nothing of the frustration of having no fish to sell at market or to feed their families? That probably felt like crossing a line. Simon did it, but you can tell it was the last thing he wanted to do. Still, Jesus had healed his mother-in-law. This Man had credibility.

In other blog posts and conversations I sense the same tiredness among ministry leaders. We’ve not just been putting our nets out in the same waters at the same time expecting a good catch. We’ve been “pivoting” and dreaming and adapting for nearly two years, trying to keep providing for our people and the wider community in challenging circumstances. A high percentage of clergy are considering leaving the ministry, and not just those on the brink of retirement. Burnout and anxiety and other mental illnesses are at an all-time high. For many of us, our nets aren’t full. We’re trying to figure out where the fish have gone.

Go back out there and do it again, and be ready to flip from online to in person and back again on a dime. Go back and try to keep it relevant to people who are weary and cynical and afraid, some more so than when all this started. Go back and inspire them, reignite their love of the church which has had to undergo drastic change and is hardly recognizable. Just keep it up.

I wasn’t quite sure how to turn from the exhaustion I’m still feeling, even though my current ministry is far less intense. Then I read a helpful perspective with the reminder that Jesus didn’t send Simon out to add insult to injury. No, He was sent out to see not only what connecting with God’s plans and vision could mean in terms of overflowing abundance and results, but also to recognize that when our nets are full we need others around us. We need to come running when others need our help, and to ask for assistance when we ourselves are breaking.

Simon had partners who came when he called. The disciples were later sent out specifically in twos. Which raises the question - who do you have? What partners in ministry are around you? Sometimes we develop wonderful supportive relationships with people in our congregations, but we also need people outside of where we minister who know us well and who we can let it all hang out with. What colleagues do you have who know the world of ministry just as well as the disciples knew fishing and what best to do in that moment?

If you have those people on speed dial, count yourself blessed and thank them. If you don’t have those kinds of people who get what you do, invest some time in finding them. Look up those in similar ministries in your area and/or denomination. Reconnect with peers from seminary. Ask facebook friends if they want to commit to phoning you for mutual support every month or whatever works best for your situation. And if the situation moves beyond the capacity for care from colleagues be brave enough to find a therapist or counselor.

The fish are out there. We may have had to keep adjusting our fishing methods in this time, and we may have caught large numbers because of that. Or we may be questioning everything we thought we knew about ministry. Either way, Jesus directs us to listen and trust that His way brings life and purpose and blessing, even as we follow His model of work and rest, intensity and pulling away to reconnect alone with God. Ministry is not something we should attempt as a lone ranger but with partners and companions.

May you count among your circle people who will help when you are overwhelmed and under-inspired. May you have a posse who will sit with you in a boat in the dark with empty nets or who will help you reel in a big catch. May you have people who help you stay real and strong in the face of any challenge. For Jesus doesn’t want us to do this alone.